Underdo the Competition

Great food, great company and great atmosphere! Thank you Lord!

Can’t wait till black friday shopping!!!

Few days ago, i found out I didn’t get the scholarship that I’ve been applying for two years. I felt like I have met all the criteria and my grades were good. I felt even more  crushed when I found out several of my peers got it. I started to question God. Is it because I don’t have good relationship with my professors cause one of my professor doesn’t really like me.

Was I confused and unsatisfied? yes. Did I try compare myself with my friends? yes. Did I cry? yes. Was i homesick? heck yes. I felt I was just not good enough. I felt I don’t belong here. But was I able to recognize it as a lie? not really.

This morning, I found out my grandma has passed away and I wont be able to go to her funeral. In my tired and tearful state, the Lord reminded me of the song “tis so sweet to trust in Jesus”. He showed me His love through people around and reminded me the HOPE we have in Him. So many people go through same thing but don’t have the HOPE.

Through this process, I realized a lot of “hardships and pains” are just insignificant and temporary. My insecurities, feelings of not belonged and disappointment are just so minute and selfish. 

God gave me this verse before I got the news “My lover speaks and said to me, ‘Arise my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me.’” songs of songs 2:10. My grandma has gone with the Lord. Jesus Christ died on the cross to take away our sins, shames, insecurities etc… just so that we can be with him forever. Now, this is HOPE.

Dear future daughter,

Don’t be afraid to try new food,

don’t be afraid to eat tamales and zucchini,

don’t be afraid to drink apple cider,

 don’t be afraid to run in the cold, 

don’t be afraid to watch the mavericks games, 

don’t be afraid to try a new sport, 

don’t be afraid to sing out loud, 

don’t be afraid to dance like there’s no tomorrow,

don’t be afraid to smile, 

don’t be afraid to tell a lame joke, 

don’t be afraid to be silly,

don’t be afraid to not be the coolest kid,

don’t be afraid to be little miss sunshine,

don’t be afraid to be perky,

don’t be afraid to be yourself, 

don’t be afraid to speak up, 

don’t be afraid to laugh out loud, 

don’t be afraid to talk to new people, 

don’t be afraid to make new connections, 

don’t be afraid to hang out with people different from you,

don’t be afraid to accept a new culture, 

don’t be afraid to be friendly, 

don’t be afraid to be comfortable, 

don’t be afraid to embrace life, 

don’t be afraid to face challenges, 

don’t be afraid to make mistake,

don’t be afraid of failure,

don’t be afraid to be disappointed,

don’t be afraid to go to new places, 

don’t be afraid to get onto a new adventure, 

don’t be afraid to put yourself out there, 

don’t be afraid to not know what’s gonna happen tomorrow, 

don’t be afraid to not know what you’re gonna be when you grow up, 

don’t be afraid to not have a plan, 

don’t be afraid to TRUST GOD.

p/s: Mommy spent too much of her life being afraid of things that she hopes that you will have the courage to seize every God given opportunities. Even though it took mommy a while to realize certain things, but know that she has no regrets in life. Remember to love God, love people, and of course, yourself.

From: Mom

I know i’ve haven’t really updated my blog recently but i’ll upload some photos of KL trip and Japan mission trip soon.

I realized God has been taking really good care of me and I do not need to do anything to earn that because God’s grace for everyone is free.

I’ve been traveling a lot for the past few weeks. Sometimes alone, sometimes with people, sometimes even with angels that are not visible. Nevertheless, God has been with me all the way, (even in the cockpit).

I’m also grateful that he has helped arranged someone to pick me up from the airport in Abilene, prepared a place for me to spend the night before I move into my dorm, provided me financially to buy “stuffs” and even gave me free yoyo to drink tonight .

I came across this verse when I was on the local train in Japan. I realize God has been really good to me and he has been aligning the desires of my heart to his. 

Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalms 37:4

I hope all of us will continue to seek God’s heart, because when we do that he will give us the desires of our heart.

Here’s the continuation of the previous post. I wrote my previous in Incheon airport while waiting for the next flight. Due to the low battery of macbook, I couldn’t finish writing, so here’s to the rest of the people i haven’t written, i saved the best for the last.

Updates: I’ve finally reached Abilene after the seemingly interminable hours of traveling. The weather here is chilly and nice, i haven’t sweat at all. This place is beautiful, u can’t find any tall buildings here because of the vast area. I got my first bag of chocolate pretzels from best buy. (reminds me of buy more from chuck)

Fransisca, everyone would want u to be in their team. Cause u’re resourceful, meticulous and very organized. Everyone know, u’ll take care of all the details. I still rmb one sat night, u lend me ur hair clip from this magic “just in case” purse of urs. U have everything in it, and it simply shows how prepared u r wherever u go. U’re a fun person to shop and hang out with. U have a much sexier and contagious laughter than emman, just my personal preference. haha

Carrie, thanks for all everything, really wish i had a sister like u, younger sister like u, nolah, jk, older sis. Better save up some money to come to usa after ur graduation. Wanna go disneyland with u. Seriously, come visit me during summer.

Frances, i dunno if u’re reading this but, just wanna remind u something we forgot to do before u left, play dollhouse for one last time, anyways, we’ll do it when we go back to kk, probably we’ll upgrade ourselves to Sylvanian Families, oh yes!

Alicia, though u’ve only joined Eklektos few years ago but it seemed like u’ve been in EC since forever cause u blend in so well with almost everyone. U know how to mingle with anyone and make urself known in a good way. And of course ur signature smile is just beautiful. u know i kept asking why u din join SC, it’s because i’m very certain u’ll be a better vp or even president than me. U’re a natural leader, not many girls have it, so i hope u’ll take up more challenges and leadership position in eklektos or school. Make God and the gals proud!

Daniel wong, u know ur letter kept me waiting for so long, but it;s worth the wait. u better grab hold of the chance to come to states if u have any. I’m so grateful that we became close cause i dun think any cousins from my mom’s side is as close as us. that’s our pride u know. I hope no matter how far we are, we’ll still keep that close knit cousinship! To all girls out there, this guy will definitely become a good and responsible husband, so make sure u gals start making good impressions of urselves in front of him. 

Calvin, u know i used to think that i’m so tough and well trained, with two wonderful brothers to teach and discipline me. But i guess i wasn’t entirely right, cause i realized i’m really spoiled and overly loved by u two. But i like it. I’m so proud to have a brother like you. I dare to say, without u, i would never be able to achieved what i’ve achieved today. People say i’m an inspiration to them, but i say u’re an inspiration to me. I can still rmb the advice u gave me during my spm - “fight or flight”. U said i’m a fighter, but i say u’re the one who always remind me to fight. I can’t thank God enough for using u to shape, polish and mould me. U’ve given me opportunity to succeed and fail. That’s what i called mentoring. I’ve always wished i could be in ur cell group and i envy the lok yuk cells a lot cause u were there. But i forgot the fact i have a brother at home to lead me. I pray i have a heart like urs, a heart that loves God and a passion for young people. A desire to help young people fulfill their dreams. Everyone has a choice to be successful, but u choose to make others successful, now that;s what i call noble. TO ALL WHO ARE READING THIS, DO RESPECT THIS MAN OF GOD AND KEEP HIM ACCOMPANY WHILE HIS FAMILY IS AWAY YA.

I used to have the mindset of traveling light during vacation and handling relationships (friendships). I used to tell myself don’t need to invest so much in a relationship, don’t give too much cause u might end up getting hurt. Well, life goes on and people move on with or without u. But God taught me a lesson through diff people in life recently. When i started giving, loving and opening my heart to others, i realized it’s so rewarding to be able to make an impact on someone’s life, even if it’s just a pat on the shoulder can show empathy to someone, even words are not said at all.

Now, I finally understood how to make friends sincerely even if they don’t appreciate the friendship. It doesn’t matter who gives more or less, just enjoy the friendship. Even if u get hurt, at least u’ve loved. Someone once told me “live the moment”, meaning not regretting about the past nor worrying bout the future, simply just seize the day, touch someone’s live and plant a tree.

Lizzie, when i read the part “thanks for giving me hope & never give up on me…”, my eyes were welled up with tears. Guys and gals, never take this girl for granted, she has put in immeasurable efforts in both her CG & worship team. We can all learn from her sharp and ready to serve attitude.

Cheryl, I can only say, the little things you did for me are the sweetest thing one can do for a friend. To all boys out there, never break her heart or I ( or someone else ) will break yours.

Mandy, you sure know how to make people like me feel special & loved. This girl may be quiet but she’s a generous giver, not just in material things but also in time. She never says no if anyone need her to do a favor.

Jamie, can’t believe u still remember those secrets we’ve talked about during our pillow talk, what surprised me was ur letter on the day of my departure and gift on christmas eve. U dunno how honorable i felt to be called ur girl companion in youth. Honestly, u’re more than just a fun companion to me, u’re my cousin=) I will cherish those pillow talk sessions, thinking bout the topics we talked about makes me laugh.

Erica, thank you so much for the song dedication, I hope texas will make me feel like home. U’re quick learner and skillful girl. I’ve always wished I could achieve as much as u did when i was ur age. U’re strong and independent, girls like u can go very very far. Nevertheless, it’s ok to let show more of the soft and feminine side of urs. U’re a pretty and talented girl, may u use that to glorify God.

Easter, lollipop gal, u can be so random at times but it gives everyone a good laugh. Because of ur randomness, i can tell u’re pretty smart. U know when is a good time to be random and u make it like a joke. Anyways, I’m so glad to have a cousin like u, gonna miss the old days when we three girls play in popo’s house. Gonna miss talking to you, going out with you and exchanging christmas presents with u.

Stephanie, nothing much to talk bout u lah, JK. HAHAHAHHA, thanks for the time u’ve spent with me and i hope u’ll be far more outstanding than me. Be an inspiration to the younger ones. Make sure u teach those new keyboardist ah. GUIDE them.

Emman, thanks for ur blog and song dedication, thanks for time and thanks for the SEcreTs u’ve shared with me, or should i say trusting in me. Ok, i must say u’re a person who really treasure friendships more than any guys i’ve known. I feel very happy and appreciated when u kept wanting to spend time with me before i leave. U’re always available when i ask u go yam cha or needed a favor from u. Glad to have a friend like you, hope to go drive to with the FECO again, SOoooon!  

Max, haven’t finish writing the note but i hope u get the message. haha. I’m very very very moved by the farewell gift u and lizzie prepared for me. I bet u did most of the dirty worK? I was deeply touched after watching the video but i was speechless when i found out u were the one behind it. Anyways, u’re a great guy, too bad u’re too young 4 me. Jk. Keep up the good work with E2, update me with any news. Btw, u gave me a pendrive is it? education fair gift? jk

Ronald, a guy with whole package. If i were younger and shorter than u, i’d fall for u, and if i were a boy, i’d die to be u. JK!! Ur love for God and heart to serve God and people is exemplary. How i wish i had a cell leader like u, so caring and sincere, so understanding and cool. 

Samuel Tang, i really wish i had more time to spend with u, thanks for opening up the other day in camp=). U have everything to be a cell leader, u gotta start believing in it. U’re a really fun guy to be with and easy to work with.

Hao Zhe, ur confident and boldness and of course intelligence will definitely make others jealous. Be who God wants u to be and no one else. U are loved.

Gar, seriously, u cried? U dunno how high i was when i read that, but of course i dun show it lah, later u perasan, jk! To see u rise up as a the media coordinator is a joy to me, to be ur first cell leader is a pride for me but to see u changed so much is something i can’t thank God enough. U’re a very gifted and u dun need anyone else to tell u that. U know it, then keep using it to the fullest 4 God.

Frank, u were always in the core team in e5, perhaps, we’ve got disconnected but it’s history. I wanna thank you for being so supportive and always excited bout CG. I really admire ur spirit of “willing to try new things”. There’ll be more challenging things ahead of u, but i’m sure u’ll be ever ready to face them.

thesamueltang:

noooo!! i don wanna sleep!! Cathy’s going tomorrow!! nooo!!!!
D;
hope u can spent more time with us!! T.T

Cathy: Samuel!! It’s 3.30am and i’m still awake. i can’t sleep as well cause u wonderful people are occupying my mind right now.

Verse of the day:  

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:19

Resolutions for the first 3 months of 2011: 

For the past few years, my resolutions was always about achievements, eg: get 4As, pass driving test, lead a cell group etc. However, this year, my resolution list is all about ADAPTATION and ATTITUDE. I know God is introducing something new in my life and i want to be prepared for it. Most of all, I believe in conjunction to the launching of Rechurch, God wants us to go back to the basic using a new approach or perspective. 

Each year, during Christmas Eve service, it’s “customary” for our church to have the lighting of candles session. I used to be so mesmerized by the hundreds of candle lights in the pitch black church sanctuary while singing the song “silent night”. But throughout the years, it became normal to me.

This year, when i was holding my candle, i was filled with different thoughts and emotions. “I won’t be celebrating christmas in kk next yr or will i?”, “Wow, the stage is so garishly adorned with christmas balls, lovely purple balls”, “I’m gonna miss this candle”. With different thoughts emerging, yet deep down in my heart, i wondered when will i be home for christmas again. 

The following day, my family and i celebrated christmas with my late uncle. Though he was feeble and lethargic on his deathbed then, he accepted christ. That moment of us praying for him was priceless. Again, i was filled with thoughts and tears. “Lord, please take him home and give him peace”, “will i be able to see him again? and when?” 

I will never be able to answer these questions but i’m certain i’ll come back to kk someday and i’ll see my uncle in heaven someday. Leaving one’s hometown and saying goodbyes may seem sentimental just like blowing off the candle light. But when the church lights are switched on, the jolly ambience fills the air. I believe my journey ahead gonna be mind-blowing and my uncle is now resting in God’s hand.

Had a great time playing monopoly deal!

It’s finally december, 6 months after my graduation, yet i feel rather ambivalent. On one hand I’m glad christmas is coming, on the other, i wonder what have i really achieved for the past few months (i did achieve a couple of things). 6 months of holiday seem to turn from indulgence of liberty into cloying of idleness. Nevertheless, I really look forward to my new school life and can’t wait to leave this somewhat insolent life. Exchange slothfulness for propulsion, oh yeah!

I shall end my post with..hello christmas, hello youth camp, hello new cell group! 

EDIT: And Oreo kissed Justin Bieber’s milk.